Hi friends. As I am sitting and thinking about what I want to write to you all there are two things coming to my mind. Therefore, I shall share those two things, ok? Ok :)
First, is that I get really sleepy during my studies. Every day as a missionary you get 2 hours (sometimes not that much, but, we try) to study the language you're learning and personal study when you study anything you want about Jesus Christ. I've struggled on and off throughout my mission to not just doze off during that time and it drives me crazy that it's been that way. Well, the past few weeks the villain of sleepiness is back and sort of worse than ever before. For the first time I almost dozed off in church. That = not awesome.
Why am I telling you this, my friend?
I wanted to say it because I get plenty of sleep at night. And every personal study I pray for God to help me focus and not fall asleep. And I do jumping jacks before so that I don't fall asleep. And nothing helped. UNTIL. My companion, Sister Shumway, asked me how SHE could help because she noticed I was struggling with this. Now, I didn't bring this up at all because it's an embarrassing and frustrating thing that I struggle with. But, when she loved me enough to say something and we started to work on it together, and support each other, suddenly I had the best personal study on Sunday that I've had in weeks.
Why does that matter to me?
Because #1, I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ with all of my heart. And I remember that love and joy each time I study the word of God intently and it literally works miracles in my life. #2, I don't actually ask for help a lot. I'm a people pleaser and part of that means that I don't like feeling like a burden to people and I really don't like asking for favors, so, usually I don't. But, Jesus Christ taught me through the example of my amazing companion, that I can't live this life alone. Nobody can. It's not meant to be that way and it's so much harder when I try to make that way work.
That leads me to my other thought. The members of the church here in Brno are amazing. They are miraculous human beings and I love them. As missionaries we're told pretty often that the missionary work we do is suppose to be hand in hand with the members in our area. That, without them our work is impossible. And I believe that. But, do I feel like I've figured out how to do it on my mission so far? Not really. I'm so grateful though for the opportunity I'm getting to work here in Brno, though. Because somehow I'm seeing for the first time how it's all suppose to work. We've tried to have open conversations with members of the church about how we can improve as missionaries and better support them. We've served members before asking them for favors or meals. We've tried to boldly and lovingly invite members to pray about people who need them. And then, what's crazy, is I feel like that's all we've done and then the members have done everything else. They've reached out to us asking how they can help. And they've texted us about a friend they have who they think we could meet. And then they've reached out to us and invited us to a family barbecue with their daughter who hasn't been to church in a long time. And then they make us feel loved and needed. I feel the difference is that something inside motivates them. Something inside makes them want to notice us missionaries at church instead of maybe avoiding us. Or maybe they decide to courageously ask their friend to an activity or something or something. I need to keep thinking about this over and over so I can figure out the kind of member that I want to be after my mission. I want that love and desire to come from deep inside. I want to do all I can to help the Lord and my ward and the missionaries. I want to be courageous and just do what the Spirit whispers to me.
I can't stop thinking about how this mission has been teaching me so much about who I want to be for the rest of my life. Now I can see why people remember their missions for the rest of their lives :)
I'm sorry this was a long rant but I wanted to share these things with you instead of just sharing some random, cute things. And I guess I can rant about something when I feel strongly about it.
I love you all and I sincerely wish you the best week :) a week filled with so much joy and so many little miracles.
With love, Sister Call
Heeeyy it's Sister Gilmour and her companion, Sister Raulinaitis. We get to work with them and basically help them with whatever they need. Sister Gilmour is still a beast. This circle is something from President Skousen called the revelatory process. It's something we repeat over and over again to get answers to our questions. I loved it a lot.
And me and Sister Shumway :))
